Punch goes Cosmopolitan

Ali women have fantasies. Ali women's magazines have quizzes. This is a quiz about women's fantasies in magazines. You know what you think you Iike. Why do you not Iike what you think? Why do you think you would like to know? Dr. Brien, a theological military scientist, the first investigator to establish the psychedelic property of unleavened bread when mixed with saliva while wearing jack- boots, has devised a test to discover why you are hooked on tests. Once you are suffi- ciently confused by the introduction, please remove your head from under the duvet, and start scoring.

He was very, very young, but so mature. She had a Chinese rug, a Swedish sun-lamp, and a French education. lt was their summer of '69

IT could have been worse, you know. We could have given you a Japanese supplement. Everyone does these days: it's bard to remember what our news- papers were like before Fleet Street discovered tantalising headlines like "the Miracle Men" and "Japan lnc.".

TONY ASPLER on the other American election