Theatre capital of the world

"Would passengers for London via Brussels and various other places p/ease proceed to the Flight Departure Lounge ... "

The first theatre programme to crucify me personally, as distinct from crucifying the arts generally, was for a dramatic-cum-musical performance in which 1 was appearing in what might laughingly be called an instrumental capacity. As it happens, my instrumental capacity was very low indeed in those far-off days, but being a desperado willing to commit the grossest outrages in an attempt to avoid going to work, 1 had fallen in the habit of sucking and blowing a hideous blunderbuss of a contrivance called a baritone saxophone.

Continuing the adventures of the Great Palaeolithic Hero

ALAN COREN queues down memory lane

Let me put it another way

GRAHAM takes them walkies down to the vet

Nothing makes coffee go down so well as the sight of someone else's stoical suffering, and this is what you see when the girls perform their graceful, decorous, antique dance at the Siam Restaurant. They wave candies around, and the grease drips onto their hands and arms; but they don't blench .

PERHAPS it's the weather. Or it could be the insane political situation or the aftermath of that irresponsible newspaper strike or lingering shame over the wicket at Headingly: there must be some explanation when a normally benign and optimistic critic is suddenly engulfed in depression and feels personally victimised by television.

THEY WEREN'T sure, when we saw Evel Knievel (director, Marvin Chomsky), that it would be having a London showing, but it will be on release with Shaft's Big Score (see below). This is about a real person, Bobby Knievel-the " Evel" was a bit of facetiousness from a sheriff when he was arrested who is a dedicated motorcycle stunt man. Not a documentary, though there are some actual pictures of the stunts; a simple but worked-out narrative, with a screenplay credit (Alan Caillou and John Milius) and actors playing the parts. It shows how Evel worked up from familiar rodeo tricks like riding through blazing fences and so forth to leaping on his bike over first one or two, then whole rows of cars. The climactic scene, at a California speedway, culminates in a fifty-yard leap over nineteen cars.

Mr BASIL BOOTHROYD regrets that he will be prevented from attending the Olympic Games by recollections of a previous engagement