The wonderful world of ITV ! (ADVT)

BOTH were right, of course. Protest is essential. But it's also a bit of a sport: it's easier, and more fun, to be against absolutely everything.

BARRY TOOK reports to the hub of showbizland in a bid to discover if there's life in Mr. Big, the man who has to keep moving if the market's to stay where it is Hurricane Lew

Author STANLEY REYNOLDS finally buttonholes Ken Shower, the power behind the commercial breaks

The fabulous Jack Flash talks to KEITH WATERHOUSE

Ls nothing, asks ALAN COREN, secret?

MAH OOD looks at how the Irish will manage without the border when they eventually get a United lreland

Arriving unexpectedly in the Bahamas on Christmas Eve some years ago, transmigrated thither by the sudden whim of an editor, 1 was standing alone on the fringe of the airport, cupped in the sultry odoriferous, giant armpit of the night, and thinking- nobody but me knows where l am at this moment. A shadow detached itself from under a palm tree. " Hello, Alan," it said.

Germany Calling !

Continuing the adventures of the Great Palaeolithic Hero